my issues

Well I have had an interesting week or so..

Lets see, Actually in Jan I started therapy again. My depession and such has been "interesting" this past year. I had not been seeing someone since I have been here so since about March of last year. I still had meds though.. after a rough December, I went in to see someone. I also got mycah an appointment with a psych. He has had one appointment so far, and we are looking at changing his meds. His ADHD meds and his anti-depessants.. both dont seem to be working so well any more, and he has been taking them for afew years.

Anywho, back to me.. at Mycah appointment as we were talking with the DR, the Dr asked ME if I was bi polar.. interesting.. first off we were there for mycah..LOL.. and we ended up talking alittle about me.. I have always wondered if I was.. and Mycah dr was picking up on that for some reason with me..

So at my next appointment, I mentioned it to my counsler (mine is just a social working therapist..) so she looked and some stuff and we talked about it, and she is refering me to a specialist. My appointment is tomorrow.. where they will be doing a screening for me. I hope to get some answers becuase sometimes I just feel alot worse then they tell me I am.. and like the way they are treating my illness, is not correct. We will see I guess.

Then the other day I was walking down the stairs and I stepped over the baby gate (we have at the stairs to keep dogs down stairs).. well I ended up triping over the fence.. and I fell with all of my weight onto my knees.. one knee before the other. OH I was in pain and through out the day the pain in my back got worse. I am stuff very soar.

Then Last night I was reading in bed. A new book.. As I was reading, I guess my mind was all over the place, because I could not concentrait.. I was reading the book and my head was thinking "i dont know what I am reading".. "why does this not make sence" "why am I thinking all of these things" "why am I feeling really wierd"..

I felt WIERD.. and I didnt like it.. and in my head I was thinking.. SAY SOMETHING OUTLOUD TO JR.. but I couldnt do it.. it was almost like I was hypnotized.. so FINALLY I blerted out to jr (who was already falling asleep).. I said something like "I dont feel good" and he was asking what was wrong think like I was gunna throw up.. and I was like "I dont know" "i feel drugged".. it felt like my arms were rubber.. I was able to reach my meds and look at the label to make sure I took my right meds and not my muscle relaxers.. it was my reg stuff.. I started crying, I just wierd.. he asked if I wanted to go to the ER.. I said no.. it was starting to wear off and feel somewhat normal.. then I was ok.. shakey but ok..

Jr thinks I was falling asleep and was like 1/2 awake.. I dont know what was wrong but I did not like it at all..